Week 26 - Help! I sat down and I can't get up!

According to some resources I've offficially finished the second trimester.  Some have me with a week to go.  Either way it's come way too soon.  Only 14 weeks to go and that's IF the baby comes right at 40 weeks.  If I give myself the last whole month to just be pregnant, and pitter patter around waiting to go into labor, I have about 10 weeks left to get everything I want to get done before the baby comes.  And to think, 10 weeks used to sound like forever to me. 

How I'm Feeling Physically

I thought if I didn't already have it by now, I'd never get it, BUT on the 7th of this month I noticed that I DO have the line negra.  I don't know if it just appeared or if I just don't get to see that portion of my tummy that much anymore so I missed it.  My is very faint, but it's definitely there.  It runs from just under my belly button down.  Another less pleasant discovery also has to do with my skin.  I noticed just a couple days ago that I had a spot of acne on both sides just under my underarms.  Bizarre place.  This pregnancy acne is so wierd to me.  I mean I get the occasional breakout every once in a while normally.  Usually, however, the spots are just little bumps that go right away with treatment.  These pregnancy "blemishes" though are gi-normous and look disgustingly like they're about to erupt at any moment.  I use burts bees blemish roll-on on them.  It's all herbal.  So, no salicylic acid or benzol peroxide (my usual non-pregnancy stand-by's).  It has a strong smell, but it takes care of business pretty quick.  I get a little annoyed once the zits do go away though because they leave dark spots.  Something I haven't had happen since high school really.  On a happer note, no stretch marks just yet.  I know it's not really suppose to help, but I put on lots of this avacado butter cream my mom bought me right before I go to bed at night.  I also try to moisturize all my stretching parts right out of the shower.   

On a non-skin note, my back aches like crazy at the end of the day.  I'll be sitting on the couch for a little while with my husband and when I go to stand up and get myself ready for bed (or get a drink or use the restroom for the gazillionth time) you'd think I'd spent the day liften heavy objects the wrong way.  My lower back will just kill me!  It's hard to walk very far withought hanging on to something to hold me up.  The pain actually does go away though if I stay standing or walk around for a little bit.  Just that initial standing up and attempting to walk hurts.

How I'm Feeling Emotionally 

The more I talked to other moms about how they "couldn't" handle breastfeeding the more I get concerned about whether or not I'll be able to do it.  Every book and breastfeeding website I've found tells me that if breastfeeding hurts it's because you're doing it wrong.  I really really want to breastfeed and cloth diaper.  So I want to believe that it's possible for anyone to do these things even if everyone doesn't.  But I'm trying really hard to accept the fact that, although I'm absolutely determined to give them my very best attempts, things might not happen the way I want them to no matter what some book says.  I'm not trying to be negative.  I just want to prepare myself mentally in case things don't work out ideally.  I don't want to hate myself when I'm at the grocery store, sleep deprived and miserable, buying a package of diapers and a can of formula.  You know?  From online mothering communities and resources I know that plenty of women are able to make certain situations work with their babies.  On the other hand, from a couple books (few and far between) and real life advice from friends and family, I also know that plenty of women don't or end up not being able to do certain things and their babies turn out just fine.  So, I want to be as prepared and open to whatever situation arises as I can be. 

 Overall this past week has been pretty good.  Little annoyances here and there, but nothing I can't handle.  I would like to be back to my normal self, but if these little blemishes, pains and worries are what it takes to bring a baby into the world then bring it on.